We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
