id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
