I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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