nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
