how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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