where am i from again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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