my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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