he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
