i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
