I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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