we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
