can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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