I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
