she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
