He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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