saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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