Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
