It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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