hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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