im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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