i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
