Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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