I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
