This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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