Me too!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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