I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse