You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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