i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions