WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
