last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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