She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i believe in u and ur pee
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
