im six kinds of drunk right now
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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