my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
