if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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