4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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