Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
