everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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