My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
