I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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