so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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