WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
