So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
