CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
