we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
