You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
