I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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