I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
