you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
