if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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