Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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