Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
