its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
