If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
