I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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