it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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