Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
