I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
whose parrot is this?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
