shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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