Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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