I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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